


Fantasy. Reality. Fucking Figure it Out.

by OnTheGround2012



Series: All I Saw Was You [121]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Future, Attraction, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Feelings, Flashbacks, Fluff, Friendship, High School, Internal Conflict, Internal Monologue, M/M, Mentioned Jackson Whittemore, Mentioned Lydia Martin, POV Second Person, Post-Season/Series 02, The Hale Pack - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-09 12:08:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19887493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnTheGround2012/pseuds/OnTheGround2012
Summary: After the kidnapping and his recovery, Stiles wonders about his feelings for Jackson.





	Fantasy. Reality. Fucking Figure it Out.

**Author's Note:**

> I'd love to find out what you think about this... whatever it is that goes through your mind.
> 
> I know this chapter is kind of personal and weird, and not for everybody, so I had many doubts about posting it or not. In the end, I've decided to share it because there's not much left and some people were curious about this period of the timeline, so I know that at least a couple of people could be interested.  
>    
> You can find me as [otg2012](http://otg2012.tumblr.com) on Tumblr.
> 
> It's not betaed. (My first language is Spanish.)

You don’t want to think about it.

You look away and you focus on the blackboard and you pay attention at the teacher for a minute before you look back at Jackson and once again you think that the sweater he’s wearing must be new for sure and that it looks absolutely perfect on him.

Why do you care?

Since when do you fucking care?

You’ve always known that he’s hot but you didn’t care.

He just existed. He was there… like somebody you couldn’t avoid—Like someone you had to put up with. Like someone you wanted to strangle sometimes.

Like someone you envied because he had the girl you liked.

Like someone who had everything he wanted and obviously had done nothing to deserve it.

And now…

Now you close your eyes and you wonder since when do you get distracted by Whittemore in class.

Apparently, since the doctor allowed you to come back to school.

Since you came back and you realized that you didn’t like Lydia the way you used to anymore. Because when you see her you know.

You know you don’t wish you could hold her in your arms or take her out on a date. You’re not sure why, but that’s the truth. And you should be happy that she broke up with Jackson and maybe you are but not for the reason you would have been happy before… and that’s messed up.

That's so messed up.

That break up allows your crazy mind to imagine things that otherwise you’d not accept as a possibility. A crazy one, but a possibility nonetheless.

You wish you could ask Scott about your sanity but asking him would be even crazier, so you won’t do it.

You close your eyes. It doesn’t make any sense.

But you almost died. You could be dead. And things in your head have changed. That much you can admit to yourself.

Has Jackson changed? Maybe he already changed and you hadn’t seen it. Maybe he hasn’t and you’re trying to justify what’s happening. Because something is happening and it’s stupid and pointless and what’s the point of even thinking about it?

You don’t want to think about it. When did you start thinking about it?

Of course, you know when it started—When he began to bring you your homework.

Since he started to bring you muffins and candy, and you gamed together every time and actually started to talk.

You had stuff to say and he listened.

You had stuff you didn't want to say and he didn't ask.

You remember the same smell and you hate the same guys. And you can joke about it, hoping to feel better but it doesn’t last.

This month has been weird. The pack has lunch together and Jackson is not too different around you but you think he is.

You talk but not so much in front of the rest.

He still asks you daily how you’re doing. You could ask him to stop but you don’t. When he asks you, you always want to answer because you can be honest—With him, you can be.

Things are different between you two and maybe that’s just what friendship is.

A new friendship.

Only, you want more than that.

You have all these feelings and you wish they would go away because you don’t want them.

Those feelings of attraction are the most pointless and stupid you've ever had and you want them gone and buried.

The fact that he seems to want you as a friend does not mean that he could want anything else.

Yes, you’ve seen tons of romantic flicks where the couple has a moment and somehow you’ve convinced yourself that you are also having moments… but are they really?

Did you have freaking _moments_?

How are you supposed to know if you’ve never had one.

Movie are movies—This is real life.

What happened to you was real.

Your life is fucking weird but real.

He’s a fucking werewolf—That’s real.

Could he actually _like_ you?—That’s fucking unreal.

Unlikely.

A fucking fantasy—Most probably.

Yes, you text each other and you had never texted before. You didn’t even have his number before you thought you were gonna die.

You shouldn’t spend time alone with him anymore.

You should avoid any situation that feeds your fantasy.

You should focus on whatever the teacher is saying because you really need it. You’re gonna fail all the exams.

You’re doomed.

Worst year ever.

You don’t need this shit.

You need to forget how you feel.

You must stop it—End it.

Then Jackson looks your way and your eyes meet, and he looks away.

What the fuck?

You lick your lips.

Shit.

**Author's Note:**

> Are you interested in this story? Let me know... as usual, feedback (and kudos) are very important.
> 
> Btw, I have 2 other stackson series that you can check out:
> 
> * [Throw Your Weight On Me](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1374817)
> 
> * [What If It's You?](https://archiveofourown.org/series/885351)


End file.
